Schedule B: DPRA Approved Provisions
The following items have been reviewed by the Deputy Assistant Commissioner of Legumes and found to be extremely bunker-appropriate.
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Line B-1
Canned Beans, Bulk Pack
The cornerstone of national legume security. Applicants are reminded that a single can is a snack, while 24 cans constitute a Strategic Bean Reserve.
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Line B-2
Canned Chili with Beans
Pre-approved under Schedule A, provided beans are present. Bean-less varieties remain the subject of an open investigation.
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Line B-3
Stackable Water Storage (WaterBrick or 5-Gallon Container)
Hydration Compliance Unit. The Bureau of Potable Water recommends one gallon per person per day, plus one extra for rinsing bean cans.
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Line B-4
Personal Water Filter (LifeStraw or Sawyer)
Converts questionable puddles into regulation-grade beverages. Not approved for filtering chili.
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Line B-5
Hand-Crank Emergency Radio
Allows listeners to receive official DPRA broadcasts, of which there are none. Also tunes to actual weather alerts, which is more useful.
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Line B-6
Freeze-Dried Meals (Mountain House)
Add hot water, receive dinner. Reviewed by the Subcommittee on Lasagna That Lasts Longer Than Some Governments.
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Line B-7
Manual Can Opener
Classified as Essential Infrastructure. This agency holds the position that a pantry of 400 cans and no opener is, legally speaking, a decorative wall.
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Line B-8
LED Headlamp or Lantern
For locating beans in the dark. Hands-free models permit simultaneous can opening, a technique the DPRA strongly endorses.
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Line B-9
First Aid Kit
Covers minor injuries, including those sustained while opening cans without Line B-7.
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Line B-10
Long-Term Storage Rice
The official partner grain of the legume. Together, rice and beans form a complete protein and a deeply committed relationship.
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Official DPRA Merch
Show your support for the agency that pays you in beans. Bean-seal shirts, stickers, and mugs are pending final approval from the Office of Agency Branding.